Sitting in my office with little work to attend to, much to think about and wanting not to think at all..my mind to me: seems to be the antithesis to my heart.Perhaps life is living up to an old adage.."life is a bitch "and today its seeming to be every bit of it and more.
There is a dense fog which has engulfed the city, on this very cold January Monday, but a far condescend smog seems to have encapsulated the very soul of me today.there is nothing and no one in sight to help abate the emptiness,that i am sinking into.
Friends on certain days ,the mind becomes so ambivalent to the course that the heart ought to take, that it meekly surrenders to the whims of the impetuous heart, that almost all of us carry within us.
On days such as today..life to me seems to appear in rags and pieces , pieces of it that i have so blatantly ignored; parts of it so knowingly not accepted.the utter formlessness of life scares me,the infirmity more evident and striking than it ever was.
At times the intricacies inherent in our character ,make themselves more palpable, and in a way obfuscate the very basic and unambiguous aspects of our lives.
Not to be read with a muzzy approach , there is a reason for me to write this today; Its a reason i cannot write about , cannot talk about , but still the predicament needs to be penned :in hope of being felt ,related and understood by countless of us who have in time been in this preposterous position , once or many a times .
As many a metaphors , i may heap and stack , to express what i am going through ,but still cannot with certainty say, what is the reason and why is it hurting sooo much .
Perhaps i am missing someone,or missing a beat ,desperately want to smile again , be the chirpy self once again and love what life has to offer once again..